Jealousy, You See, Isn't Foolproof
by Astroganof
Summary: 2nd Chappie Jealous is the feeling Hermione is going for. Well, to make Ron jealous anyway. It would have been a smart idea, if Ron hadnt decided to do the same thing.
1. Caught in the Middle

A/N: My first attempt at a R/Hr... hope you think it's good though. Help me improve, R&R. :)

Summary: Jealous is the feeling Hermione is going for. Well, to make Ron jealous anyway. It would've been a smart idea, if Ron hadn't decided to do the same thing.

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters; they all belong to J.K. Rowling. This was also made only for fun and is purely fictional.

Chapter 1

"Hermione..." Harry sighed exasperatedly as she tugged on his sleeve. "Explain the logic behind this again?"

Hermione huffed, obviously annoyed. Her day was not going well. Or rather, _one_ person was making her day rubbish. She and Ron had just had a row—_again_. Over what? Well, she couldn't exactly recall. Harry was not making it any easier on her by being difficult. Obviously.

"I'll explain if you just come _along._" Hermione's voice was overflowing with agitation, and, as the hall was completely empty while everyone was at dinner, Harry was quite nervous. He knew quite well that she wasn't a pretty sight after a row with Ron.

They trudged down flights of stairs, and Harry decided to hold his tongue just in case she gave a second thought to biting his head off. He didn't know exactly where they were headed, but instinct told him they were close to the Potions Lab. True enough, she stopped right outside one of the classrooms and pushed him against the wall. She let out a frustrated growl as Harry tried his hardest not to flinch.

"That _git_! The _insolent_ little prat!" Hermione started pacing in front of him, and it was making his head spin. "I cannot believe he said that!" She let out another frustrated sound and started pulling at her hair.

"'Mione, don't lose your temper. You know Ron..." Harry's attempt at calming her down was proving to be useless. "He's very, er," Harry tried to search for the right word. He didn't want to be the one to insult his best friend, but he knew if he sided with Ron, Hermione was likely to have a stroke. "Very... tactless, sometimes?"

Hermione stared at him as if he was standing in front of her in ridiculously girly undergarments. Harry managed an apologetic smile but it didn't calm her. "Sometimes?" She asked. She stared at him incredulously. "Harry, he's been tactless since first year... maybe even _before_ that, Lord knows I would know." She threw her arms in the air. "And I _am_ very thankful that I haven't known him that long." She shook her head in exasperation. "Very thankful." She added as an after thought.

To Harry, this whole ordeal was a little over dramatic. Of course, he didn't have the nerve to insult Hermione further as this was already proving to be a difficult situation. He really didn't think one teeny comment about her would get her in this right state. But he wasn't thick. The comment, on second thought, was quite bad. And though Harry's loyalty should have been with Ron, he couldn't bring himself to toss the comment away.

__

_"Good Evening, Harry!" Hermione said cheerily as she came up to their place. She had just come from Arithmancy while Harry and Ron slept through Divination. "Hello Ron!"_

_Ron looked up from his pork chops and mumbled with his mouth full. Hermione looked at him perplexed and said, in a very good imitation of Mrs. Weasley, "Ron, chew your food. Really, you act like a three year old."_

_"I trust you had a good class then?" Harry asked, referring to her mood when she had greeted them._

_"Mm-hmm." Hermione nodded, spooning some potatoes onto her plate. Ron finally managed to swallow that huge wad of food in his mouth._

_"Cant have been that great. You were late for dinner." He said._

_"Oh, that wasn't class." She said looking up from her plate. "Parvati, Lavender, Ginny and I had a little chat in the room." Ron dropped the spoon half way to his mouth and turned so he was in full view of her._

_"What were you chatting about?" He asked interestedly. Hermione gave him a small shrug._

_"Girly things..." She trailed off._

_Ron burst into a chuckle as Harry kicked him under the table. "Ow! Harry!" He started rubbing the part of his leg that Harry had kicked, but it was too late, as Hermione had heard his beginning chuckle._

_Without pausing to look up, Hermione asked, "What's amusing Ron?" In a half light-hearted, half confused manner._

_Ron gave another laugh. "Girly things? But Hermione, you're hardly a girl. You're just, well, Hermione." Ron finished with a shrug. Harry gave him a warning glare, but Ron obviously didn't catch it, as he went back to eating his mash and steak. Hermione, however, caught **every** word. And as Harry was preparing himself for the outburst, he thought that was **the** most unfortunate thing in the world._

_"Are you saying," Hermione said in a slow, very deadly tone. "That I'm not a girl to you, Ronald?"_

_Ron, who had, just minutes before, won the "Thicker than a boulder" award by his first statement, was proving that he could indeed top his previous bout of stupidity._

_"Well, yeah." He said with another shrug. "I mean," A quirky little smile came on his face. "Girls usually read magazines, and chat about boys, and look pretty..." And he went back to his food. Everyone in hearing range had turned to watch the scene, and Harry was quietly beating himself in as he watched Ron dig himself deeper and deeper._

_Everyone watched as Hermione's scowl became dirtier and dirtier by the millisecond, and they were all ready to see Ron get his face punched in. The girls especially. But apparently, Hermione had had enough. She got up from the table so quickly, the jug of milk spilled. She grabbed her bag and said "Harry, lets go." And dragged him huffily out of the Great Hall while everyone else looked on._

__

"And so, you are going to date me." Hermione finished with conviction. This was the only part he had caught. He looked at her and blinked.

"I'm going to what?" He said. He was convinced he had heard her wrong. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her tummy.

"Date me, go out with me, take me to dinner, bring me flowers and candy, dress up in nice clothes, ring any bells?" She asked sarcastically and moved forward to knock on his skull. He cocked his head to the side and looked at her weirdly.

"Are you certain you aren't on anything, Hermione?" He asked. She sighed and dropped her arms, looking at Harry frustrated.

"Bottom line," She said in a threatening tone. "From now on, I'm interested in you." She said. She turned on her heel and marched off in the direction of her next class, leaving Harry to process the event. He figured he should do the processing on the way to class, as his next subject was Defense. 'That's what they need here.' He thought. 'Defense against Raving Mad Girls...'


	2. And So It Begins

A/N: My first attempt at a R/Hr... hope you think it's good though. Help me improve, R&R. :) Also, thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter! I love you! You made my day, you really did! gushes Oh and I apologize for the typo in the title... ;

Summary: Jealous is the feeling Hermione is going for. Well, to make Ron jealous anyway. It would've been a smart idea, if Ron hadn't decided to do the same thing.

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters; they all belong to J.K. Rowling. This was also made only for fun and is purely fictional.

Chapter 2

Ever since her little rendezvous with Harry, Hermione had felt better. She couldn't bring herself to be upset after the brilliant plan that she had just come up with, if she did say so herself. 'And I do say so.' She thought happily. 'Stroke of brilliance, really.' She continued.

"Not a girl my arse." She said out loud, scowling. "Have to look pretty, he says. Read magazines, he says." She was mimicking him in a low voice and jumped sky high when someone tapped her shoulder. She slipped but luckily that person caught her.

"Whoa. Hold on, Hermione." A familiar voice said with a chuckle. She looked up and saw that goofy grin that she could've stunned off his face just an hour before.

"Hi. Ron." She said shortly, trying to calm her breathing as he had taken her by surprise and given her a rather big fright. She turned on her heel ready to hurry away when he caught her arm.

"Stay a minute. I came to apologize." He said as her made her turn around. She looked at him expectantly and he stared down at his shoes, hands in his pocket. "I didn't mean what I said at dinner. I only meant that I didn't expect you to be like Lavender and Parvati, as you don't usually talk about clothes and boys... but I guess that's really partly mine and Harry's doing, as you cant talk about boys around, well, boys." He shrugged and looked up at her. Hermione stared at him. He looked so uncomfortable apologizing to her, and he really did look sorry.

"Alright." She said rolling her eyes. A grin swept his face.

"Friends, yeah?" He said, looking rather pleased with himself. Hermione rolled her eyes again and smiled fleetingly. She turned around and started walking in the direction of the Gryffindor Tower, Ron walking quickly so he could catch up.

Ron and Hermione entered the common room chatting animatedly about what happened to a Ravenclaw girl after they left dinner. Apparently Trevor had gotten loose again and landed on Marietta's lap, and the poor girl was so surprised that she dropped her helping of mash right on him, and made Trevor look like he was wearing a blonde wig.

"Oh, classic!" Hermione said laughing.

"I hear she's running around in her room right now, screaming about how she's going to get warts." They both burst into a fresh round of laughter. They walked over to their favorite seats in front of the fireplace where they found Harry poured over a long Potions essay.

"Harry! Ooh, that essay looks nasty." Ron said with a scowl on his face as he remembered he hadn't started yet. His face screwed up like he had just eaten a sour lemon.

"This rubbish?" Harry asked looking at his essay with the same expression as Ron. "It belongs in the bin." He said shrugging simply. There were ink blots all over his face and writing arm. He went back to scribbling with his quill as Ron made his way toward the stairs.

"I'll get my school things. Better get to it." He called over his shoulder. He sprinted up the stairs leaving Hermione standing next to Harry,

A relieved grin spread over Harry's face, and without looking up from his essay he said, "Looks like you've patched up your row." He looked up at her fleetingly and she stared down at him with her arms crossed.

"Oh no. This doesn't change anything." She plopped herself down on a chair beside him. "Actually, I think now would be a brilliant time to begin." She leaned back in her chair.

Harry swallowed audibly. "_Now?_ No, I'm—I'm, er, I'm doing my essay." He said, a pleased tone in his voice as he found an excuse not to get his bum whooped by his best friend. Both of them, really.

"Then I'll start. Just play along." She said simply, examining her nails to show that she wasn't interested in any of his excuses.

"Hermione, I—"

"Yup, here it is. Three feet on the Animagi Potion?" Ron said, reading out a piece of parchment where he had written his reminder. "Bloody hell, Snape's out to get us." He said, screwing up his face again.

"He's always been, Ron." Harry said chuckling. "I'm done with 8 inches..."

"Oh, that's great!" Ron said smiling. "That's only 2 feet and 4 inches to go." His smile faded slowly. "Guess this means we're going to skip on sleep, yeah?"

Hermione, who had moved from the chair down to the floor next to Harry, piped up. "Really, if you two had done your homework—"

"The day it was given out, then you would've been finished by now." Ron said, finishing her sentence and sighing. "We _know_ Hermione."

Harry braced himself for another row, but just heard Hermione sigh. Pleased and relieved, for the time being, he went back to filling out his essay. He was almost done with the first foot when he felt Hermione touch his cheek.

"Oh Harry," She said laughing. "You have an ink stain on you cheek." And she proceeded to rub it off. Harry felt Ron look up confusedly at him, and go back to his work. He kept still, thinking that if he neither said anything nor moved, he wouldn't offend either one. 'So far, so good.' He thought, as Ron didn't heed Hermione's earlier actions.

They heard the clock chime twelve. Harry was done with half of his essay already, and Ron had finished one foot. Hermione, who had completed the essay a week before, was knitting elf hats for S.P.E.W.

"Really, 'Mione." Ron said, looking up and yawning. "When are you going to give up that spew stuff?"

"Ronald, its S.P.E.W. How many times do I have to remind you?" She asked, annoyed. She only ever called him 'Ronald' when she was annoyed. Whether she had found him mean at the time, or stupid, Harry could never tell.

"What? I cant help it." Ron said looking up at her. "That little crusade really is a bunch of rubbish. The elves don't _want_ to be freed."

"Of _course_ they want to be freed, Ron!" Hermione said, pausing from her knitting and raising her voice slightly. "How would _you_ feel if you had someone bossing you around and you couldn't get out of it?"

Ron was getting angry now too. "I _do_ have someone bossing me around. Her name is _Hermione_!" They both stood up and were face to face. Well, face to chest, as Ron was a good 8" taller than her. Hermione was turning red with anger. She looked just about ready to stomp away, and Harry was quite thankful that the common room was empty.

"Well I cant help it if you cant think for yourself!" She yelled at him. She let out a yell of frustration, but suddenly thought better of it. Her expression softened and she turned to Harry. She bent down and kissed him on the cheek. "I'm heading in. Goodnight, _love_." She let the word roll off her tongue, and without another word, swiftly headed toward her dormitory, leaving both boys utterly bewildered.


End file.
